What do my cats think I am...?

What are they thinking really...??

When they look at you, what's actually in their mind? Do they think..."ahhh my member of staff who operates the food machine is here..."? Do they see me as their big fur-less ugly cat sister or "oh that very useful and convenient hot water bottle/ body warmer" or a back-scratcher or just 'some-thing' who happens to share their home?

Besides food, sleep and cleaning, what else do they think about?
Do they think I am dumb and slow because when it comes to understanding what they want when they're meowing at me, they have to try 'herding' me toward the feeding area or the front door to let them out?

I guess we will never know the true answer... but one thing I am pretty sure, they know they are at the top of the pecking order in this house and have authority over all the others, i.e.... me!